also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize