return my video game
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
