she was so not down for the gang bang
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just forgot I was standing up.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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