hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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