She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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