awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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