i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
