Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
