Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
