Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
