I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Randomize
