I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He passed out mid-signature
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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