She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want to have your abortion
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
