we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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