actually, I'm a sock model
Plan B is the new Plan A
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How naked do you want me to be?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
