things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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