Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
