no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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