Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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