Cold hands, warm shart.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
