I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
