My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
