Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
