All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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