grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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