I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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