Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
