Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
