I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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