the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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