My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
