Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
