How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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