I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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