My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
