You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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