I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Someone shattered a urinal.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
