Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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