HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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