The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
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