I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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