I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My penis needs a shock collar
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.