Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.