so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
