I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
