I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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