At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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