butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
