rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
