real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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