Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
