HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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