It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
