I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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