Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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