Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
