every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
