The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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