I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
