She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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