Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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