I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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